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昨晚Bad Girl傳來連結，我笑得東倒西歪，她說這影片要獻給墨綠，但我怕墨綠看不懂，就改寫一下，影片下面有中英對照的經文。要聽媽媽的話啊。
念經大師Anita Renfroe
【中文版】
我幹了1件好事
整理出1位母親在1天24小時之內的嘮叨
並濃縮成2分55秒簡報
請繫好安全帶
這就來了：
別賴床
別賴床
快給我爬起來
去洗臉
去刷牙
把頭髮梳好來
穿制服
穿鞋子
有沒有在聽咧
快起床
棉被順便疊一疊！
你熱嗎
你冷嗎
就這樣出門邪？
課本呢
便當呢
作業都帶了沒？
拿外套
和手套
要披圍巾和戴帽
別忘了還要餵貓！
吃早餐啊專家說人類一天最重要的就是吃早餐
吃維他命啊你才會長得又高又壯成為男子漢
要記得今天三點你跟矯正牙齒的牙醫有約
別忘了下午有鋼琴課所以之前一定要練ㄋㄟ
別噎到
慢慢嚼
還磨菇
校車來了
小心走
回來！
耳朵後面怎麼髒的
在操場
別玩瘋
不准玩太兇
禮貌點
友善點
讓同學一點
要自立
要排隊
不要去冒險
上課乖
別逼我去丟臉！
收房間
掛衣服
髒東西撿一撿
整整床
懷疑啊
沒那美國時間
這是哪
狗窩嗎
這麼亂
怎麼睡
要死了你聽到沒！
快接電話
還講電話
別坐太近
關小聲
吃飯不准玩手機
今晚不准打電動
要是再不聽話
就沒收你的iPod！
又要去哪跟誰出去呢你到底打算幾點才回來
常說請和謝謝對不起沒教養的被排擠是活該
現在你嫌我囉唆以後你就懂得感激我
等你自己有小孩就知道當父母不簡單
你一定會感激打從心底謝我
但現在你好膽再瞪我試試看
有東西
在嘴巴
就不要說話
胡蘿蔔
和青椒
統統要吃掉
快開動
你敢吐
打到你舒服
老娘做飯很辛苦！
去唸書
去開門
休想來抗爭
要出頭
數到三
別等我開幹
去賺錢
去上班
去讀博士班
去去去去...
我管你們誰先罵誰
但我會管到你36歲
長話短說可以嗎
看在老天的份上
說實話好嗎
又如果你朋友都跑去跳樓
你也要跳嗎
我講過一百次你都不聽我還會再講一百次
你已長大別幼稚
你遺傳你爸的白癡
我在跟你說話眼睛看哪裡
走路抬頭挺胸嘆什麼氣
家，是大家的
那大掃除，人人有責
哭什麼哭再哭我讓你永遠哭不出來
喔！
去刷牙
去洗臉
換睡衣去小便
上床前
抱一下
跟媽媽禱告先
別忘了
愛你唷
啾
等明天我們從頭重來一遍
因為當媽當不厭
還需要什麼理由嗎
因為
因為
因為
因為
媽最大
媽最大
媽最大
媽最大
我是你媽
你媽
你媽
你媽
你媽
答啦！
【英文版】via here
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here's your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don't play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don't forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don't make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don't sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don't get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I'll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of...
I don't care who started it
You're grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that
You're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don't forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I'm the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da
該怎麼說我娘呢...她真的非常有精神啊，竟然嫌Anita囉唆版本不充足，自動補遺：少抽煙、別熬夜，健康就是一切，你太胖，你太瘦，飲食千萬要正常。她還最常跟哥和我講一句話，也順便公開好了：男人的魅力不在臉皮，而在頭皮底下的東西，她這輩子大概說了十萬次吧，頭皮底下的東西...毛囊嗎？XD
事實上Anita的孩子還小，所以她的經文範疇很小，不禁想問各位，你呢？你媽媽都碎碎念什麼？那些當女兒的，妳家的媽媽最常掛在嘴邊的話又是什麼？該不會是幫我拿衛生棉吧，那不算，我媽就算對兒子也常這麼要求Orz。總之，歡迎來補完永遠沒完的媽媽經。
爸爸經XD
念經大師Anita Renfroe
【中文版】
整理出1位母親在1天24小時之內的嘮叨
並濃縮成2分55秒簡報
請繫好安全帶
這就來了：
別賴床
別賴床
快給我爬起來
去洗臉
去刷牙
把頭髮梳好來
穿制服
穿鞋子
有沒有在聽咧
快起床
棉被順便疊一疊！
你熱嗎
你冷嗎
就這樣出門邪？
課本呢
便當呢
作業都帶了沒？
拿外套
和手套
要披圍巾和戴帽
別忘了還要餵貓！
吃早餐啊專家說人類一天最重要的就是吃早餐
吃維他命啊你才會長得又高又壯成為男子漢
要記得今天三點你跟矯正牙齒的牙醫有約
別忘了下午有鋼琴課所以之前一定要練ㄋㄟ
別噎到
慢慢嚼
還磨菇
校車來了
小心走
回來！
耳朵後面怎麼髒的
在操場
別玩瘋
不准玩太兇
禮貌點
友善點
讓同學一點
要自立
要排隊
不要去冒險
上課乖
別逼我去丟臉！
收房間
掛衣服
髒東西撿一撿
整整床
懷疑啊
沒那美國時間
這是哪
狗窩嗎
這麼亂
怎麼睡
要死了你聽到沒！
快接電話
還講電話
別坐太近
關小聲
吃飯不准玩手機
今晚不准打電動
要是再不聽話
就沒收你的iPod！
又要去哪跟誰出去呢你到底打算幾點才回來
常說請和謝謝對不起沒教養的被排擠是活該
現在你嫌我囉唆以後你就懂得感激我
等你自己有小孩就知道當父母不簡單
你一定會感激打從心底謝我
但現在你好膽再瞪我試試看
有東西
在嘴巴
就不要說話
胡蘿蔔
和青椒
統統要吃掉
快開動
你敢吐
打到你舒服
老娘做飯很辛苦！
去唸書
去開門
休想來抗爭
要出頭
數到三
別等我開幹
去賺錢
去上班
去讀博士班
去去去去...
我管你們誰先罵誰
但我會管到你36歲
長話短說可以嗎
看在老天的份上
說實話好嗎
又如果你朋友都跑去跳樓
你也要跳嗎
我講過一百次你都不聽我還會再講一百次
你已長大別幼稚
你遺傳你爸的白癡
我在跟你說話眼睛看哪裡
走路抬頭挺胸嘆什麼氣
家，是大家的
那大掃除，人人有責
哭什麼哭再哭我讓你永遠哭不出來
喔！
去刷牙
去洗臉
換睡衣去小便
上床前
抱一下
跟媽媽禱告先
別忘了
愛你唷
啾
等明天我們從頭重來一遍
因為當媽當不厭
還需要什麼理由嗎
因為
因為
因為
因為
媽最大
媽最大
媽最大
媽最大
我是你媽
你媽
你媽
你媽
你媽
答啦！
【英文版】via here
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here's your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don't play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don't forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don't make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don't sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don't get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I'll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of...
I don't care who started it
You're grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that
You're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don't forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I'm the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da
該怎麼說我娘呢...她真的非常有精神啊，竟然嫌Anita囉唆版本不充足，自動補遺：少抽煙、別熬夜，健康就是一切，你太胖，你太瘦，飲食千萬要正常。她還最常跟哥和我講一句話，也順便公開好了：男人的魅力不在臉皮，而在頭皮底下的東西，她這輩子大概說了十萬次吧，頭皮底下的東西...毛囊嗎？XD
事實上Anita的孩子還小，所以她的經文範疇很小，不禁想問各位，你呢？你媽媽都碎碎念什麼？那些當女兒的，妳家的媽媽最常掛在嘴邊的話又是什麼？該不會是幫我拿衛生棉吧，那不算，我媽就算對兒子也常這麼要求Orz。總之，歡迎來補完永遠沒完的媽媽經。
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